Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Production text draft #1

For decades, cars and factories have spewed billions of tons of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, and these gases caused temperatures to rise between 0.6°C and 0.9°C over the past century. Developments to satisfy the demands of consumer are triggering global warming. Global warming basically refer to the rising in average temperature of Earth caused by greenhouse gasses especially carbon dioxide. The rate of warming in the last 50 years was double the rate observed over the last 100 years. Once planet starts to warm up, it's very hard to slow down the process—and almost impossible to stop it completely. Global warming means Big Trouble. Ironically, global warming which caused by an anthropogenic process will cause a slew of inevitable effects to us. Thus, practical solution and strategies must be prepared to solve this long-lasting global issue.

One of the inevitable potential effects of global warming in terms of climate change is the rise of sea level. Global warming caused an increase in world’s temperature of approximately 2-5 degree centigrade. According to Al gore, the melting of land-base ice in both poles contributes to the rising of sea level. If all the ice melts completely, low lying nations and islands such as Bangladesh, Beijing, Shanghai, Netherlands, Greenland, Florida, Calcutta, Manhattan and California will be risk in disappear underwater. Ten percents of the world’s population lives in coastal area will be affected. The rising of sea levels also will erode coasts and cause more frequent coastal flooding. This will trigger storms, hurricanes, tornados and typhoons to occur more frequently. In shorts, global warming will caused topographical change in earth and the world’s map would have to be redrawn.

Besides that, the ecosystem is tremendously disturbing by global warming. Vector for emerging diseases such as mosquito and algae occurs. About thirty newly-emerged diseases are also found, for example, Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS), Nipah Virus, Ebola, Arena Virus and Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome (Al gore, 2007). These diseases are worrying as they are fatal and have the potential to kill a vast human population. Rises in temperature is also putting pressure on ecosystem, the plants and animals that co-exist in a particular climate. Warmer temperature shifted the growing season of flora. Spring which coming earlier forces the migrating animals have to start earlier to follow food resources. As the growing season progresses, maximum daily temperatures increase, sometimes beyond the tolerance of the plant or animal. In order to survive in the climbing temperature, both marine and land-based plants and animals started to migrate towards the poles. Species which fail to migrate or adapt face extinction (Holli Riebeek, 2007). In brief, global warming makes ecosystem imbalance.

Reducing the emission of carbon dioxide gas is the most practical way to curb climate change. (Christ Woodford 2006). Individuals and government must have the consciousness and responsibility towards global warming. Individual can contributes by using incandescent or energy-saving fluorescent lamps, use public transport or car pooling, and reduce the consumption of electricity especially air-conditioner. Governments should take consideration to find and develop into alternative renewable energy and environmental friendly transport. Government should also invest in tackle climate change as it only caused twenty percents drops in Gross Domestic Product (GDP). Carbon tax is one of the good examples in reducing the emission of carbon dioxide. Authorities should create the awareness among the society by education and campaigns. Every one of us should work together to hinder global warming and save our sickly earth. We are strength when we are united.

We are witnessing collusion between our civilization and the Earth. Ecosystems across the globe are already affected and surprising changes have already taken place. Polar ice caps are melting, plants and animals are migrating, tropical rain is shifting, and droughts are becoming more widespread and frequent. Since greenhouse gases are long-lived, the planet will continue to warm and changes will continue to happen, but the degree to which global warming changes life on Earth depends on our decisions.

1 comment:

  1. 5. Are there any sentences or sections that are not clear? If so, how can they be improved?

    In the 2nd paragraph:
    The 5th sentence should be “at the risk of inundation” instead of “will be risk in disappear underwater”.

    In the 3rd paragraph:
    I suggest the 2nd and the last sentences can be improved better.

    “Erratic weather patterns lead to an emergence of disease-carrying vectors like mosquitoes.”
    “In brief, global warming makes the ecosystem to become unbalanced.”

    In the 4th paragraph:
    The 5th sentence is a bit confusing. Maybe this is a better sentence.

    “Government should also invest in correcting climate change as according to a report, it will only cause twenty percents drop in Gross Domestic Product (GDP).”

    6. Does the conclusion summarize all the main points given in the essay or restate the thesis statement? Is it clear? If not, how can the writer improve this part?

    In the conclusion, I think you should include one more sentence.
    “Therefore, it is essential that we make the right decision in order to put global warming away once and for all.”

    7. Does the writer cite the sources adequately and appropriately? Note any incorrect citation.

    For the citation, you should state (Al Gore, 2007) instead of (Al gore, 2007)

    8. Are there any apparent grammatical or spelling mistakes?

    There are some minor grammatical and spelling mistakes in your essay.

    1st paragraph: past centuries (past century), gases (gasses), solutions (solution)

    2nd paragraph: the world’s map would have been redrawn (have to be redrawn).

    3rd paragraph: disturbed by (disturbing by) global warming

    4th paragraph: individual can contribute (contributes)

    Last paragraph: we are witnessing collision (collusion)

    10. Additional comments:

    Overall, this is a nice essay. But it will be better after u rectify all the minor mistakes.